In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize