we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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