just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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