At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize