Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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