whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We got so high we made milksteak
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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