sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
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It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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