ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
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look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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