remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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