well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize