You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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