so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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