the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize