so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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