You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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