Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize