She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize