I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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