this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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