I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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