i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
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Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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