So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
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It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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