I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
be right there i have to get my cape
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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