Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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