I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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