You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize