All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
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I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
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You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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