I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize