I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize