he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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