Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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