she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize