whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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