he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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