Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize