I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize