She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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