Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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