My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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