Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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