Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?

  (516): View more from New York

  one can only hope.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves? (516): one can only hope. http://tfl.nu/2jko
  Replies (33) Good night (5298) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever. http://tfl.nu/nvrl
  Replies (19) Good night (658) Bad night (6457)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer... http://tfl.nu/pqdq
  Replies (16) Good night (946) Bad night (3049) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures http://tfl.nu/m84y
  Replies (28) Good night (3512) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I lost count of how many people I peed on last night. http://tfl.nu/e9nm
  Replies (20) Good night (1733) Bad night (4303) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route. http://tfl.nu/lmqa
  Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (4103) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate. http://tfl.nu/opcy
  Replies (9) Good night (1021) Bad night (3020) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom. http://tfl.nu/rwqy
  Replies (2) Good night (1505) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/ljav
  Replies (5) Good night (2338) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here. http://tfl.nu/eop3
  Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas? http://tfl.nu/7kpc
  Replies (6) Good night (1842) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here. http://tfl.nu/4g6f
  Replies (13) Good night (411) Bad night (2688) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit. http://tfl.nu/alyo
  Replies (9) Good night (1697) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/f9iv
  Replies (12) Good night (846) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function. http://tfl.nu/qham
  Replies (1) Good night (181) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt

Randomize