THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This is the high leading the old right now
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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