I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize