I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize