you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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