need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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