im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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