There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
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Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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