And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize