hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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